the girl in me..!!

 …so its 3 more days left…and I am truly gonna miss this gal at 19!! When yet another year comes to an end, proving the old mayans miserably failed in foreseeing the day I am making this post! It’s a mix of all emotions..this is the time I know a cake is getting baked exclusively for me somewhere ( waiting to munch it all alone :P). this month is always special .. the time when the other unseen side of my world would get coloured with snow. When I am busy dreaming a Christmas celebration (this time we had it in my college).. evening when all those carol crew keep ringing the calling bell I am reminded about the year end. Since I already gave up the phenomenon of charting my newyear resolutions I thought of something different. While I was busy watching the queue of films in my own lap ‘ozhimuri’ is the one that forced me to go for this post. The time when I am left to realise the depth of lonliness this movie has ceased my 3 hrs to think, rethink, finally to blog. There have been umpteen number of times ,I stood questioning the ‘nair’ addition to my name. may be too much of pragmatism or the practical city life that brought me against the cast promotion along with my own name. But then again its history that this crowd owns certain duties, trends, values, powers and evolved civilisation so do the other. Perhaps the cinematography that stressed on ‘the travancore nair families’ ( to which I own a passive link)  help digging up the genetic trait of female dominance that every girl of those days own. Adding on to the list of causes is the long waited post by my dear blogger friend (http://kaviithaa.blogspot.in/2012/12/the-little-impossible-things.html). The story of being a girl is not exactly what I wish to reverberate here.                      

              Its quite ironic to realise I belong to this country where  Barkha Dutt  could handle the most toughest crowd of debaters, sagarika gosh could timely update us about the crowd pulling events for a day,  mamtha banerji alone could decide the future of India’s largest public sector, Sonia Gandhi could be ranked above the prime minister for her leadership,mayavadhi could make U.P flooded with her own statues , jayalalitha could run a T.V channel exclusively for self-promotion ( a kind of flattering),  Matha amruthanantha mai could establish an empire in the name of philanthropy, kiran bedi could join anna hasare to protest, Sania mirza could marry a Pakistani, kanimozhi could prove herself a better corrupt than poet,  jaya bachan could cry in parliament, meera kumar could handle the noisy parliamenterians [with a smile], a 23 year old girl could get raped in the capital city, government could sponser her a costly death bed in Singapore , another crowd could gather and gather in the politically sacred landmarks and protest endlessly [this time atleast fearlessly] and I could sit and blog all this.

      

                       Its again astonishing to make me belive I live in this world where Hillary clinton  could administrate the supreme power U.S.A , queen Elizabeth could still be the spotlight, Liu Yandong could  find her place in PB of China  , Malala Yousafzai could win her battle for life  against taliban, benezer bhutto could still remain the heroine of a mysterious assassination ,Kate Williams could steer the fashion world, Michelle Bachelet could become UN leader from Chile’s first female PM, Angela Merkel could continue as the Chancellor of Germany  and I could talk about them 

                    

                              Its either senseless or senseful to  imbibe I am part of a universe where Sunitha Williams could spend days and months alone in outer space and tweet and I could tweet my dream of becoming an astronaut .Talking , blogging, dreaming I may sound no better than an usual girl of this age but the astonishment I share about the ironic time I live atleast reverberates ample sense. I don’t mean myself to be courageous but I m forced to. I don’t mean to be annoyed but I m made to. I  don’t mean to be fearfull but I m asked to. I don’t mean to be powerful but I m taught to. I don’t mean to be cautious but I m none to choose . While quoting all this sensible sensitivities I still don’t dare to travel in the general compartment of kanyakumari – Banglore island express, I will not be spared from the endless stares if I stand alone on a platform, all I still have to think about is the security that enclose my dreams, my thoughts, and finally modulate my ideas.

                            Platitudes is not I ask for rather the opportune right that I m born to enjoy is what I stand for. I don’t let this realisation to an acceptance and hide the shortfall of the society. I can neither be rebellious nor be rebuff the truth. I dream a country where I  can dream, think, talk with no fear of security. I want to be a part of  the  change  that make me in the world of Mahathma Gandhi and no other Gandhi. Perhaps then  I can not just talk but live a world where I am neither above you nor below you but the same as you are.

note: when i made this post hours before i gt lil feedbck n lot f page views.."i can vs can i' was the title then..as always ma lil confidence in the title made this posttitled 'the girl in me'.. and the title courtsy to my friend as well as thefollower with immediate response..thnx!!